Sunday, September 24, 2006
i want the one that treat me like a princess.
i want the one that dote me more than anyone.
i want the one that never make me cry.
i want the one that understand me the best.
i want the one that xin teng me.
i want the one that give me to me.
i want the one that wun scold me.
i want the one that will never throw temper on me.
i want the one that treat me the best.
i want the one that love me the most.
but the one... is loving himself.. more than loving me now.
he will only feel that he is the one giving in to this r/s instead of me making any effort to give in to him.
for all my bad points, you see it.
for all my good points, you are blind.
im giving up on this.
and im not going to make anymore effort to make this better.
it's just so pointless.
im no longer the one... you love wholeheartedly.
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
8:54 AM
ya. look at the time. i dun wish to wake up so early too. i end work yest at 2. went for supper, reach home ard 4. when to bed ard 6.
awake by the alarm. wake you up for work. you did not wake up and alarm keep ringing. i even passed you my hp which alarm is still ringing but you still din wana wake up. until you mum call den you finally wake up.
so.. it's around 8+ and you just rushed out of my place leaving the bed unpack. pyjamas anyhow put, door unlock. woke me up to lock the door and i did.
back to my room and start packing the bed. put the pyjamas in place and the chair back to place. i wondered... really that rush to reach there? so hurry that there's no time to even pack the bed or put your pyjamas in place? it just take last den 2mins.
so... i msged you. are you really in such a hurry?
your replied. yes. and sorry.
i replied. i felt like my house is hotel. haha. im going back to slp after room service packing k.
your replied. "I DUNO WHY YOU CANT BE UNDERSTANDING? IM NOT GOING TO YOUR HOTEL TO STAY ANYMORE!"
never expect such replies.
if i were to be NOT UNDERSTANDING.. my first msg wun even ask are you in a hurry le!
if i were to be NOT UNDERSTANDING, i would not even wake you up for work, lock the door for you and pack the bed for you!
im left with tears again. early in the morning. NOT SLEEPING and im tearing. my eyes tear. my heart tears too.
yes. i noe im spolit. i noe i might be not understanding at times.. but im totally hurt by what you said once again.
you used to pack the bed.
you will put you pyjamas in place after changing it.
you will kiss me goodbye and wake me up to lock the door for you nicely.
am i the one that changed or you?
i asked.. are you still the one.
you said.. you are still the one.
but... the one will never treat me like this.
i got no complain to pack for you time and time, again and again when you really rush out to work.
i got no complain taking you pyjamas to wash.
i got no complain that your clothes is occupying my place to hang my clothes.
please. think over, recall what is it in the past. and REALISE what is the change and who is the one not being UNDERSTANDING!
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
8:32 AM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
darling. no worries. you are not a failure. it's just that i chose to keep quiet. nth much to comment but just my grumbling.. ya.. it's like the past and i see my past again. karma? i believe. though dont deserve this karma.. but still some how or so.. i felt it again. the pain will never go away. the heartache too.
growing up is a pain. and i got to admit, i hate growing up. the adult world to enter as well as all the responsibilities. we shall be glad.. though there's so many thing changing and changing.. our 'childhood' memories and our friendship had bond us together into 'sistership'.
the tough growing up stage is for our future. harder to live but we have one another to rely on. always believe.. always know.. i will be by your side.. and you will be by my side!
this is the phrase for us to stay strong as we will never leave one another alone. =)
im glad having you as my sister, my darling, my dearest mrs lim.
muAckz.. love you to the super extreme. haha.
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
2:57 PM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I nv knew that U'll post ur entry here. I shld actually think of it and read it rite? so that U wun be suffering the whole thing again like the past. I read thru, I felt ur pain and I realised how much I've done for u. I did so little, I was upset with myself. Y din I be there right away for u. I've met the min requirements only. Darling, I'm always here for u and my mobile will b 24hrs on. Anything juz call me and tell me. I'll b listening. U need a listening ear not a person to talk.. Girl so sorry when u're at the worse stage, I wasn't there.
It was juz a sudden thought to read this blog. Wanted to read and rem the past. The stupid stuff we wrote here.. How much we blog and share our life here. This is like our growing up memory safe. As i read, I'm recalling my 'childhood days' How my friendship built and r/s fails.. LOL though some stuff are really stupid but well, that is the fun part of it rite? I read my own blog past entry and I do laugh at some stupid things I've posted.
The growing up is tough and of cuz future will be even harder to live.. It is the Past that make US wad we are today. So be strong and stay firm. I strongly believe we'll be fine de. =) Although, I dunno hv i grow up to be an adult or m I getting mature not, but 1 thing i can b sure is, stay focus and u'll achieve ur goal. =)
Lastly, Nice template!! I din even know it had been changed till today. I'm such a failure. =/ nevertheless, I love maine and always. -muacks-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:30 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
thanks for being clever enough to delete away the conversation with her. it made me feel retarded enough. but i choose to keep quiet still.
who is the one that made you fan? i dont know anymore. it's me ma? or just someone else out there.
what so worry? she is there. she would not leave you alone. just one word from you, she will fly to your side. and what am i? just someone super extra.
though pics is nothing, and by right, i shld felt "NOTHING". but im still very upset. i did not or rather you did not even develop our pics but yet, you develop her's. yes. i understand! 21st birthday, pics shld be kept. but still.. my heartache due to that.
i have pics too. so imagine i develop it out too?
who shld be the one worrying? and who shld be the one to be fan?
me or you?
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
7:37 AM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
things, never the same.
me, no longer the same girl.
you, no longer the same person.
she seems more impt den me.
and am i clinging on to you instead?
the patch back was not due to love? is due to i never throw temper and i never mood swing?
i shall den continue to be a bitch.
why even let me survive?
no longer living like a human. no longer the sweet lady.
I HATE MYSELF.
for being clever enough to explore websites. for being clever enough to act as if nth. for being clever enough to hide the real me away. for not being able to trust. for not being able to stop throwing temper. for being such a missy. and i got to admit. i am a da xiao jie.
the one beside me sleeping and though it's just beside... i felt a distance away. other than crying to myself, it's still crying.
3 years... he can said break up so easily.
and this proven...
i mean nth at all.
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
4:50 AM
We did not plan it to be this way -
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
sorrie; i love you ......
