Monday, November 29, 2004
been sometime ever since i update this blog..... there's just too many unhappy stuffs tat happened recently... seriously... im falling apart soon...
i stayed up late and woke up rather early today. i make my effort to wake up at 5+ just to make a morning call for you. but why didnt you appreciate it and wake up late again? im afraid that you cant wake up, therefore i called to wake you up. but im so disappointed that you waste my effort. seriously, i dont know what should i do? though im really unreasonable at times, i thought my action will show how much you mean to me. im tired of all this. it seems that im always the one not being understanding enough. but who will be the one who really understand me? do you think that i love throwing temper? if you feel that i will go for someone better than you, than why am i still staying at this spot? am i so fool? im not a perfect gal, neither am i a good gf. i learning to be understanding. you? you always feel that you love me so much and you feel so much for me. i used to feel it but now? where have everything gone to? where's the dear dear who love me so much and give in so much to me? examples of my grumbles.
1. after my beloved sunzi told me abt she starting to dislike me, my dearest dear dear din even call to console me the next day. AT LEAST, ling did msn me and ask me not to be sad or something, but wat did my dear do? she just WAIT for me to call or msg her! seriously.. im expecting a msg.. juz ONE msg from her.. but i get nth AT ALL..
2. after so long... dear asked me WILL I GO FOR SOMEONE BETTER DEN HER? duH~ after so long.. u asked me tis?? isnt it insulting? why am i still a fool being wif you? yeapx.. it's true tat we are going through a tough time now. BUT did i give up on this relationship? im learning so hard to understand!! learning so hard to take it easy.. but wat did i get in the end? i kept quiet coz i really duno wat to reply u.. i felt so heart broken.. why did you ask me such a qns at this point of time?
3. just bcoz i din reply u and kept quiet.. u throw temper on me. get pek cek and started bang-ing everything tat u can. in the past, will u ever do tis? u alwayz blame me for throwing temper, but did u even go and realise why did i throw my tempeR? am i tat unreasonable tat LOVE throwing tempeR?
4. going out wif my frenz.. i alwayz feel so extra... they will bring their bf along.. and where's mine? i will grumble.. but i noe i need to understand you!!!! i take the effort to UNDERSTAND.... but why cant i feel that u appreciate my effort??
haiz.... i cant state anymore.. i blogged tis down.. coz i noe she wun get to read tis... she wun come online anyway..... i blogged tis down coz i feel tat this is the only way to vent all tat i feel..... im not blaming you..... i juz feel tat.... things is changing..... you are no longer the one tat love me so much.. and give in so much to me...... you are no longer tat understanding towards me le.... wher did my dear gone to? sObz... =(
mAinez [ cRies ]]-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:49 AM
Friday, November 19, 2004
the chioest!! =)life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:41 AM
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
its been a long time tat i update the blog ar. lolz. Though i'm having my holidays, but i'm too lazy to post and was working the other time. wahaha.. love the new layout done by maine. -huggies- now no longer working, been slacking quite alot and think i'm getting fatter cuz got tummy liao. need to slim down a lit on my tummy manx.. cannot afford to have tummy, look so ugly. -vain- but tat's typical girls ma. not as vain as maine la, she even bought the mask to maintain her face unlike me, can't b bothered over my face.. lolz. anyway, is the mask effective not ar?? i oso thinking of getting it for my mum.. wahaha.. well since maine ald seen john, i was wondering wad's the impression of him and can feel free to give comments la. i need to know how u all feel abt him, i'm afraid u all are not comfortable with him loh. haiz. dun wan to have another conflict or misunderstanding again. i can say tat i really love him, i'm not playing or flirting, i'm gg serious for this r/s. so i need serious comment k?? i'm afraid to b hurt la.. -sigh- but well i believe he wun b a jerk to me la. so now i'm trying to give 100% faith and trust to him. lolz. k la. shall blog again. i miss maine and i looking forward to meet her for another ktv or photo taking session. -miss ya-
ing - aiming to b perfect girl-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
2:39 PM
We did not plan it to be this way -
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
sorrie; i love you ......
