Tuesday, December 30, 2003
You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.
Find out your color at Quiz Me!
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[L]inG -1207-life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
6:17 PM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
4:33 PM
You are an individual,go you! You think for
yourself and don't need to wear tight shirts
and short skirts to get the attention you
want.You are somewhat depressed but try not to
let people know.That where the cutting comes
in.You're not one of thoes people who need to
be labeled and you dont have a group.You're
just you.By the way,please vote for my quiz!
What clique do you belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla
[|inG] -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
4:25 PM
Monday, December 29, 2003
sob sob... actually today quite fun one lor.. enjoy my day wif my dear as usual.. and though at tym will pek cek over something.. but after awhile we will be okie le.. went queenway shopping center tdy and dear bought a PINK top.. ahaha.. she wana be a barbie doll lyk me sia.. den went bugis wif benson, melson, mellinsa, ivy and her frenz ya.. shop n shop n shop alot.. they buy alot of things but i came home empty handed!! actually i can click wif them lor.. they are not unfriendly at all.. though at tyms a bit siao siao la.. but they are really damn entertaining and funny lor.. after tat we went meridian for dinner... i thought is bcoz they wana eat korean food den we go ther one.. but to noe tat is actually bcoz eric n benson work ther so they went dwn to hv dinner.. sunzi joined us for dinner.. the moment we reached ther.. we saw zuo ling.. and sumthing is wrong le.. ivy n mellinsa went over to tok to her.. but i duno y ya.. afterwards get to noe tat eric was mellinsa's ex.. and now i get the whole picture.. but still im unclear of wat's the problem about.. after dinner.. i saw lex.. clayton and their frenz n stead.. i duno wat happened.. but somehow a quarrel took place.. and ltr on a fight.. really veri violence!!!!!!! i was shocked!! and i was afraid...!! i nv see my own frenz fight b4.. i was in total shock..!! i did nth but CRY!!! im really scared!!! feel tat im so useless ya!!! i cant do anything!! cant help anything!! 1side is my di.. 1side is my dear's mei.. im in the middle lor!!! i really duno wat to do.. i din expect them to fight!!! really veri veri useless!!!!! felt tat my dear and i was actually so different!!! im really worried for her.. and im really scared!!! sunzi gotta go home le.. she suppose to fetch me home.. but i dun wan.. i waited for my dear!! im really worried for her.. dun wan her to get into any trouble!! dun wan her to get any hurt... sob sob sob!!! till now.. actually im still afraid.. coz... i noe tat tis matter wun juz settle lyk tat one!! there will be another fight sooner or ltr one lor!!! sob sob!!! how how?? wat am i going to do???? im really veri scared!!! i really dun wan anything to happen to anyone esp my dear....!!!!! sob sob.. cries!! wat am i suppose to do????????????????????????????????????? -10-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
11:25 PM
today got to talk to bB.. haiz.. worry abt her.. cuz wad i msg her, her mum saw.. and her mum know le.. wondering she can cope at over there not.. *worry* i dunno how to help her loh.. veri sad now.. haiz.. although she told mE she can handle it and she sound alrite.. but i'm still veri worry.. cuz i scare she act it out not to let me worry abt her.. *sad* feel so useless and helpless sia..
juz now maine called mE.. she was crying.. i dunno how to console her loh.. although i'm worry too but i'm really too trouble to console hER.. feel sO useless.. sad to say i cldn't even keep her cool down.. *box myself* haiz.. really to trouble to write anything wor.. -moodless-
[|inG] -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:19 PM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:49 PM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:38 PM
You are brightly shining with Red Love.
Wow, you really love your partner. You red Love Ray
is the most prominent right now. Either you're
devoted, or you're just obsessive. But does it
really matter which?
What color of love are you most glowing with?
brought to you by Quizilla
[|inG] -1207-life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:04 PM
Sunday, December 28, 2003
hmm sUpposed to go chinatown today but den ahaha i'm too lazy to go out so end up staying at home wor.. anyway luckily nv go out, cuz BB online wor.. *yeaP* i was overwhelmed.. chat with her for awhile.. i'm sO happy loh.. ahaha.. =Þ firstly received an e-mail fron her den after tat in the late afternoon, she is online.. ubt den her mum read my msgs to her.. now i worry abt her le?? wondering hoW sia.. haiz.. she promised to send me go sch and shopping once she return.. can't wait for her to return loh.. hmm she was broke le.. guess wun haf any present le.. hopefully she rem to take lots of nature photos for mE.. i juz loved the nature loAds.. ahaha.. *heE*
hAIi maine seems to encounter some profile thingy problems ar.. but it's rather fishy loh.. hmm i think the person is trying to provoke maine or find her trouble.. dun worry maine.. i'll proctect u and stand by de.. ahaha.. although wind blow, i'll fly but talking is my best abilities aR.. lol.. -bleah- miss U loads..
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
9:17 PM
IM BACK!!!!! yeah yeah... heex... pai seh ya... i was back yest but now den blog.. heex.. hmMm.. went my dear hse tdy ya.. so wasnt online.. been busy since im back.. alot of news being update.. was kinda shocked.. i left spore for a few dayz.. yet alot of BIG BIG things happened!! phew... MISS U ALL SO MUCH!!! miss my darling LING lyk hell.. miss my dearest SUNZI so much.. miss my dearie ADE.. miss my precious di JAKE so much.. miss my dearest beloved DEAR² so much... 4 dayz been long ma?? ahaha... din really enjoyed my trip coz was lyk kinda sian ya.. din hv the tym to shop.. coz everything was very rush.. so sorry.. i came back empty handed!! heex... well.. me came back safely is the best present liao ritE?? wahaha.. tdy went my dear² hse.. jasper n melson was ther too... and my dear² gave me a big² puzzle.. wah.. ff8 one.. i LOVE it so much.. heex..
ade dearie: wahaha.. reply u here instead of fridae emailing ya.. clever gal sia.. wahaha.. thru the way i tok oso can understand me so well.. hMmm.. no bad sia.. wahaha.. heex.. i oso missed u alot worz.. had a wonderful xmas ma?? im really not good ma.. so i say myself not good lor.. wif such bad temper.. lyk a princess so arrogant.. how to be good ritE?? heex.. i alwayz bully my dear² so how will i be good ritE?? wahaha.. but still.. i enjoy bullying her.. ahaha.. bleahx.. aiyo.. o level is wat everyone gotta go thru.. so juz work hard and do ur best for it.. sure will pass wif flying colour one.. heex.. i will help u jia you de.. =)
jake di: wateva it is.. u gotta step out of the circle urself.. no one can help.. advice is the only thing tat i can do for u.. the rest gotta depend on urself.. be brave and move on.. u wun be miserable once u step out of everything.. after all.. waiting and hanging on will only make u silly.. sumtyms.. loving in silence is veri xin ku.. but yet it is oso a kind of happiness.. knowing tat u can never have her.. be an outsider to noe tat she is happily wif other will oso be a kind of happiness.. be more positive.. love do depends on fate.. wif u aint fated to be wif her.. den wish her happiness k.. move on.. jia you k.. i will alwayz be by ur side wenever u need me k.. though u cant touched her hrt, u might not noe sumone out ther might be waiting for u to touched their hrt lei.. give others a chance and at the same tym.. give urself a chance.. dun bcoz of a tree give up the whole forest.. oPps.. im back crapping again.. wahaha... =X
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:47 AM
Saturday, December 27, 2003
ytd got a mail from bb.. sO surprised and happy... den she tell mE that she cldn't sms ME le.. damn sad sia.. haiz.. today as usual waiting for her news, although i know that she can't contact mE but i still hope to hear from her.. i know she'll find other means to contact me de.. hopefull by 29 dec she can use the net and talk to ME loh.. *praY hARd* sian me kena alot of bites loh.. so itchy.. den swollen manx.. argh.. haiz next week gg to dO rebonding and cut my hair.. haiz so lonely manx.. usually got bb pei mE de.. now gotta go there alone lE.. sobz.. hmm.. i think she will be chao ta le.. cuz ytd weather was like 40 degrees at Australia loh.. ahaha i think she grow fat liao.. -bleah- FAT CHAO TA MOUSEY ahaha.. ytd maine come back le.. *hee* finally wor.. but today she not online lehz.. beed waiting for her lehz.. maine WRU??? miss her lots loh...
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
9:55 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2003
mErry X'mas..!! ahaha.. went monks ytd to countdown for x'mas wor... saw aTaq, gib her a hug.. lol.. hmm saw dearie.. gib her 3 kisses and a hug.. hmmm i was crappy ytd la.. ahaha cuz i'm damn tired wor.. after tat went home with aiai and shan.. gib aiai a goodnite kiss.. ahaha which i normally dUN.. but cuz it's x'mas ma.. -bleah- saw my x'mas present this morning.. haiyo shock to receive diff thing this year ar.. i got a CK1 perfume and mango wallet.. diAoz rite? oh ya.. received a bouqant of flowers from bb.. so totful of her to get flowers for me.. although she isn't ard loh.. hmm really a surprise. cuz that is the 3 words she wanna gib ME.. ahaha she's so cute.. love her lots.. den start thinking abt her le.. -sign- wad i wan for x'mas is bb not flowers lehz.. ahaha..
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
6:32 PM
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
toDay x'mas eve le.. so fast tml is x'mas liao.. hmm ytd he left a gift at my door step ar.. kinda surprised!! that's was a great gift but too ex for me to accept wor.. really din expect to get that.. *shocked* today is the 1st day maine not ard le.. wah.. damn boring lehz.. cuz always talk to her on msn during this time but now.. no pple to chat with lehz.. -bleah- oh ya went supper with shan ytd nite.. ahaha sO damn lame loh.. both chat till end up having supper le.. oh ya called him when i reach home.. knowing he is trying to hack my acc ar.. well all the while i knew he'll do this kinda thing so no surprise la.. ahaha to mE s Owad he read and know.. cuz he can't comment on mE ar.. -bleah- k la.. tonite gg monks with aiai, shan and kriz loh.. wonder wad kind of x'mas eve i'll get.. *excited* now having headache of wad to wear le..
[L]ing -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:56 PM
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
ahem!! going for holiday tml le.. will miss alot of ppl sia.. ESPECIALLY my dear lor.. and of coz.. ling.. huishan.. von.. ade.. my diS.. jies... deon dearie.. and lot lot lot more... phew... u ppl gotta miss me too k.. anyway.. tis is a message to my dear.. provided she ever come online to read ya.. ahaha..
dear dear.. we had been holding on to each other till now.. guess there's nth tat can descibe how u actually feel for me le.. i noe u luv me alot all along.. and i do appreciate it.. sorrie tat i doubt u.. coz me juz... siaoz liao at tat tym.. i dun mean to doubt u between u n jasmine stuff.. i wana u to noe.. i trust u.. but.. juz tat me saw wat u msg her, i juz felt veri uncomfortable and angry.. duno y oso.. sorrie for being unreasonable again.. guess it is all my fault again ya.. haiz.. me going oversea le.. i tink im gonna reflect alot again during tis trip.. wait for my return k.. be good ya... it is juz 4 dayz... not 4 mths.. so muz guai guai and wait for me to come bac k.. dun get urself into trouble.. me really veri worry for u.. yet im not here to watch over u.. dun do things tat i dun lyk k.. coz i will be sad.. me restricting myself frm doing things tat u dun lyk le.. so i hope u can too.. alwayz believing in u n me~~ muackz.. heex... actually... im oso veri happy on tat day.. duno y oso.. though is as usual me fa pi qi and stuff lyk tat.. but we still hv alot of fun and me damn pai seh.. ahaha.. juz felt tat we really enjoy tat day alot alot.. and so for today.. even though juz meet up for awhile but still cherish the tym we had together and simply love my lao gong alot.. the feeling is veri different frm last tym compared to now... and i fins no ans to my WHY!! ahaha.. loving u more n more... we are moving forward to our future.. our happiness.. n i shall make her xin fu coz u had me as ur lao po.. and forever... I WILL STAY... i promise... =) let my heart be healed slowly.. replace her bit by bit.. i nv wana feel a single hurt n pain anymore..
ling.. i wun be ard to celebrate xmas wif u.. but still hope u enjoy ur xmas.. though w/o ur baby.. but at least still got huishan n kriz ya.. u aint the only lonely one.. coz my dear will pei u.. NO MATTER WAT!! i order her to do so le.. ahaha.. hope to see u at least cheer up a bit wen i get back frm holiday k.. smilez alwayz.. u look real sweet wif ur cutie smilez.. ahaha.. =)
ade dearie... gonna miss me lot lot k.. ahaha.. coz i will be missing u for sure.. same goes to my dearest di.. ahem.. jake.. stop ur crapping.. wen i come back den continue crap wif u k.. meanwhile u can lame.. den i come back liao u cannot lame liao.. muz learn to walk.. ahaha.. see tis.. im crapping wen blogging.. wahaha.. ji tao.. nth to say liao sia.. anyway.. ppl.. do take good care k.. I WILL BE BACK IN 4 DAYZ tym.. muz miss me lot lot lot lot lot k.. coz u all noe i will.. for those who are feeling dwn.. to try to cheer up k.. the road is stil long.. brighten up ur life and continue walking to the road wher u see happiness.. think of the positive side ya.. tat will lead u to a cheerful life.. after all.. wif maine ard... laughter will be all ard.. coz im really veri happy n xin fu now.. all thankz to my dear ya.. *winkz.. -10-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
2:28 AM
Monday, December 22, 2003
oh locked the blog today wor.. ahaha lydat pple can't get to read or comment le.. -bleah- great man.. hai i dunno wad i wan him to do for mE.. cuz i dunno i shld ask him to hold on or gib up.. and i tot this is his decision loh.. i juz dun wan him to admit loswe w/o fighting the battle loh.. cuz it seems sO unfair wor.. actually i know that i shld be patching with ally de.. but seriously la who knows that last min my choice wun be ally.. but that's wad i tot of.. but seriously i think i'll end up choosing ally ba.. hai dunno lehz.. i really hate him asking mE qn loh.. cuz i dunno how to ans.. *argh* enuff of saying that le.. well BB sms mE today.. *yeah* her fone kena confiscated le.. sad manx.. she can't msg mE la.. haiz... but she say i wld get 3 words from her in 3 days time.. i wonder how am i gg to receive from her.. but i guess shld be sms ba.. sobz.. hopefully i'll be getting a surprise wor.. *hee* ah.. sHAn passed me my x'mas gift wor.. really wanna thank her wor.. cuz i damn paiseh sia din get her anything.. cuz i'm broke le.. left with $2 wor.. pathetic rite?? aahaha.. hmm i wanna go watch my westside story show le.. ahaha.. nitez..
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:39 PM
Sunday, December 21, 2003
wah.. saw wad maine and kriz typed.. sO mushy sia.. bth wor.. hmm after reading it, i suddenly think of last time.. the days at MM etc.. ahaha.. -sad- hoped that time cld turned back sO that i wld cherish everything and pple ard mE.. unfortunately, i can't.. i only can cherish wadeva i have now and future but not the past.. -sobz- regreted many things.. sometimes i wondered, y muz i gib up on something which i build it up so hard.. guess i nv treasure anything at tat point of time ba.. stayed at home today, as usual, my hp is as quiet as ever.. but today is exceptional quiet cuz it din ring at all.. haiz.. no1 sms mE today wor.. so pathetic ar.. maybe it will remained quiet ba.. haiz.. i guess this x'mas will be quiet for mE le..
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:13 PM
yawn...very tired wor...coz ytd went out till very late wif my dear dear N my friends ya...ytd is my first time i reli feel very hapi...very xinfu...n alot alot of e special feelings tat i cant describe...being wif my beloved gal wif me all along...i feel e happiness...thanks dear...going 10months le...so happy...thanks 4 everything...go though all e ups N downs together wif me...being ther 4 me when i needed u most...thanks 4 loving me!!i know u had been through lots lots hurts N pain in e past le...i know u had trying very hard for me N u...thanks laopo...even though ppl say promises is a lie...but to me,i'll try my best to keep my every single promises i made to u...i still wanna promise to u tat i wont make u suffer like e past anymore...i wont let u haf e hurt deep in ur heart le...i wan u happy...i wan u xin fu k??i mean it!!u are my everything...i wont leave you now N forever...but i'll stay N love u now N forever...[ur laogong_kriz]
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
7:38 PM
went out wif von n ling yest.. pass them the present.. hope they really lyk it ya.. well.. von did msg me to say thankz.. and suddenly felt so.. touched?? ahaha.. even though it is juz a simple thank u.. but really felt the warmth within us.. had a veri fun n tiring day today.. suddenly miss my dear alot alot.. we walk alot today.. watch movie together.. went shopping too.. after tat went to the wedding dinner wif dear.. ahaha.. so pai seh sia.. her relative and her cousin all so cute.. everyone was wondering hu am i sia.. ahaha.. but cannot say ma..=X heex.. well.. 1 of his uncle came over and tel dear "your frenz is veri pretty" ji tao.. im ther blushing sia.. so pai seh lor.. we left after finishing the 5 dish.. went to ssc meet jasper, germaine ande nelson. eh.. being praise again.. ahaha.. pai seh sia.. played pool again.. hmm.. dear win me again.. haiz.. as usual.. ahaha.. in the end i won and "escape" from the 1 min lc.. ahaha.. after pool went pub.. hmm.. dance along wif the stupid techno music.. sian sia.. duno how to dance.. dear dear high sia.. face red red one.. ahaha.. too bad i cant ton.. if not can pei her the whole nitez.. im now here.. missing my dear alot.. im going for holiday le.. but really will miss her alot alot.. though today i saw *her but i only feel uncomfortable instead of sadness.. i din intend to go and see her one.. is really bcoz i wana drink soup.. haiz.. but dun even noe does dear feel this way or think another way round.. haiz.. anyway.. im really happy yest.. coz gotta spent the whole day wif my lao gong.. went clubbin and so on.. though as usual.. i throw temper on her again.. but.. we still enjoy our day.. coz being together is a fate.. and the fate shall not be wasted instead be together happily.. =) -10-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:47 PM
Saturday, December 20, 2003
today went out with maine, kriz and von.. ahha met the marcuz for movie la.. but din get to watch my show.. sobx.. end up watching Love Actually, not bad la.. kinda angry when i got home.. cuz it's like i'm drenched juz b'cuz my mama wan me to get sUpper for bro.. den went i came home.. she scolded mE.. kao.. she said if i fall sick, i shall pay for my own medicial fee.. *argh* fed up sia.. den she leave alot of stuffs and ask ME do.. sO damn unfair.. overheard her conversion saying i gotta pay for the telephone bills.. even more angry manx.. as if she nv used alot.. *endURing* she's really damn mean towards ME loh.. really hate to come home wor..
hmm bought my christmas gift for my cousins.. ahaha maine and kriz bought von and mE christmas gift too.. sO sweet.. -muackz- thanks wor.. my 2nd christmas gift.. anyway i wonder wad will be the best gift this year.. can't wait to receive all my presents.. din manage to get any gifts for bb.. cuz really hard to buy wor.. sian..
[S]erenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:31 PM
din mean to scold ling ya.. but it really hurts us to see u so sad ya.. gotta scold u and make u wake up sia.. well.. anyway.. no matter wat decision u made.. we will alwayz be there to support u.. esp me ya.. u noe i will alway be ther ya.. *winkz.. wahaha.. yeah man... tml meeting von n ling!! veri long nv see them liao sia.. miss them lyk hell lor... having slight fever in the afternoon but better now le ya.. walk ard town the whole evening till 9+.. veri veri veri tired le... haiz... and.... duno y.. dun feel veri okie... yet i duno y do i felt tis way.. dear is at mOnkz now sia.. wif jasper n germaine.. eh... no comment sia.. go w/o.. though i dun mind ya.. but.. hmMmm.. duno y.. tis tym she go i dun really fang xin.. haiz.. maybe im too sensative ya.. really veri tired... though veri fan still.. but no worries.. i still can take it.. i will be fine ya.. [10]
ade dearie:no worry ya.. i will take gd care of myself.. and thankz again for helpin me in my blog and everything.. heex.. appreciate it alot worz.. muaCkzz... =) *winkz..
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:17 AM
Friday, December 19, 2003
haiz.. ytd nite cried again.. msg maine den she somesort scolded mE la.. well today she sms mE, was a little happy but still feel the hurt there.. anyway.. since ytd till noW kenA pester to meet Marcus for sUpper tonite.. haiz.. dun have the mood to gO out lehz... den partly cuz gotta wake my dad uP to work.. sian.. today feeling much better le.. sO guess i shld be ok ba.. but well i oso dUnno wad's in me too.. i know maine wanna help mE but she's oso having problems too.. mE felt so useless to help her cuz i'm not any better den her too.. so guess i cldn't do any help ba.. hopefully this christmas can cheer mE up ar.. ahaha i wondered who will gib mE the best christmas gift wor.. haha sure love the person lots de if i got the best christmas gift ar.. -bleah-
[L]inG -1207-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:01 PM
haiz.. tdy is a bad day to me too... was lyk veri fed up the whole day ya.. duno for wat.. just so damn pek cek.. give attitude to my dear.. and throw temper to my com and classmates.. i tink everyone hate me now sia.. ahaha.. anyhow throw temper.. ahaha... haiz.. ling still so so so so so so sad sia... haiz.. can sumone juz cheer my dearest sister happy?? r/s SUX... love is hopeless sia... all shall give up in LOVE sia.. it really sux lyk hell!!! how can someone who u used to luv u so deeply hurt u so deeply?? it is really too harsh on ling le... how can ally lyk tat?? haiz.. though everyone has their fault in some way or another but but but...... haiz....!! end of story... *-- 10 --*
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:22 AM
Thursday, December 18, 2003
ytd was a real disaster but now ain't any good too.. still feeling damn upsad cuz the person i trusted destroyed it.. cried the whole nite.. all the things i read, its appearing again and again.. and it seems that a knife had stabbed me repeatedly.. i really feel the heart pain when talking to maine last nite.. i was like able to start standing up and now i had a great fall again.. i know that it's the past le, wad for bringing it uP.. but being kept inm the dark all the while and the way she deny and act blur.. i really speechless.. i pondered the nite, wondering y muz she do that to me.. at least i admit how i hurt her but y can't she admit and tell me the truth.. i really giving up le.. really collasped lE.. i dun believe in love le.. cuz love ain't that truth at all.. i really want to hate her and them but i juz cldn't bring myself to dO it..
ohyA.. he e-mail me todaY.. guess he din got the hint.. sO nvm la.. cuz i'm a failure in love and r/s too.. although he did encourage me to stand up but i cldn't cuz everything seeems to happen at 1 gO that i dunno wad to do le.. maybe juz wait for die loh..
[s]eRenE *cries*
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:32 PM
haiz.. wat a day!! surely.. tdy is not dear's day sia.. she was damn down on luck!! and as for ling.. haiz.. wat a "new discovery"!! crying now sia.. duno for wat.. feel tat im useless sia.. in everything.. my stead is having problems.. seems to be suffering yet i cant do anything.. my sister is sad but yet i cant help anything.. wat am i suppose to do sia?? the feeling isnt gd at all and my own way out of all tis is to throw temper!! y am i such princess?? y cant i be understanding and reasonable?? but.. im reasonable enuff ya.. and understand ya.. but my temper cant be control!! wana let out means it will let out sia.. sob sob!! im sorrie.. but perharps tat's me bah.. am worry for my dear now.. wonder how will everything be.. and ling.. will she overcome everything?? can she be strong enuff to stand up aLl over again ALONE?? cant even imagine ther are so many ppl wearing a mask to others.. how can ally be lyk tat?? haiz.. maybe a misunderstanding?? i tink it will be better to wait for ally's return and settle it wif ling bah.. ling!! dun collasped k.. i will catch u wen u fall... *winkz.. and to my dearest dear dear... and my sunzi.. all of u mean alot alot alot to me!! im really veri happy to have all of u ard me!! making me the most xin fu woman among u all... muackZZ!! i really love u all lotzz!!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:49 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
today i tot was perfect cuz i'm feeling good.. however by luck i saw something that 'tve been kept in dark for mths.. i was really stun to read wad she wrote on her journal.. too shock to say anything.. guess wad.. everything seems to be finez as i waited patiently for her sms but din expect to read that journal.. i read from the start to the last entries i endure not to shed a tear for her.. i was so calm and msg her abt this.. but upon receiving her sms i cried.. cuz she still say she din do anything and ask me to wait for her to return and explain to mE.. wad can i say le.. wad she wrote was already the past but i nv ever expect that she lied to mE and cheated my feeling during our last patched.. furthermore juz 2 days b4 my bday.. the person she love wasn't me.. *heart shatter* and yet she can say she love me on my bday.. wad a liar! the hurt was sO deep and it diminished all my faith again.. how can she do that to me.. she love mE out of pity isn't it.. i dunno whether i can take it not.. i've already collasped le.. really seems to be so helpless le.. *cries*
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:44 PM
hiYa.. ya loh back to nOrmal ar.. but still not really completely la.. sO i'll take the timE to heal de.. although still hOping but i learnt to gib uP too. haha.. ytd was rather moodY ar.. but my fren fRom army called mE and chat with mE.. ahaha we was talking crapes la.. at least he makes mE luff la.. not too bad.. cheer me up a little.. but of cuz only for that moment la.. -bleah- bet if he is gg to read this, he'll kill mE.. ahaha (mArcus mUz spAre mE wor) -bleah- hmm read wad maine wrote.. ahaha thank ar.. i'll try bringing victory back la.. haiz.. gotta help mama, damn sian sia.. but nvm sAt i'll be seeing mAine and vOn.. ahaha looking forward siA.. *hee* but i gotta get christmas present for my little cousins wor.. hmm i oso got christmas wishlist wor.. ahaha.. -hint hint-
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:33 PM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:13 PM
im happy ya.. ling is back to normal.. she is learning to stand up le.. yeah man!! ahem.. good good good!! wahaha.. sometimes really wonder.. shld passive be softhearted or harsh? I guess if HE really loves u.. action will speak louder den words.. do take action ya.. =) feeling rather sad tdy.. was outside having dinner wif my frenz but a fone call made me lost all appetite.. dear dear duno y so pissed off... she tok to me in a veri attitude way.. and I DUN LYK IT AND HATE IT!! but stil i endure.. the 1st call, i ren.. 2nd call, i ren.. 3rd call.. i ren wu ke ren and i attitude bac to her.. really dislyk her not tinking of how i feel. She alwayz lyk tat.. indirectly hurt me w/o even realising. It might be juz a small matter ya but she jolly well noe tat i dun lyk it.. haiz.. well, i noe i got my attitude too.. maybe tat's y.. both of us are tolerating wif each other attitude. if not how to last long long.. she stil promise me to take care of me FOREVER.. though ppl say forever is a lie.. but i hope it doesnt apply to us. Since she is so pissed off.. so i decided to go her hse and give her a surprise. But it din turn out to be a success coz she somehow sense tat im goin le.. chey.. NO FUN rite?? but after all.. did made her smile and happy to see me ya.. at least not tat pissed off.. feeling a little hungry now coz had a veri light dinner sia.. hmm but it's late le.. shall not eat n slp now ya.. nitEz!! Ling!! muz bring back victory ya we will alwayz be here supporting u!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
2:37 AM
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
2:17 PM
well.. guess everything had put on a full stop le.. today will be the 1st day mE gg to start standing uP again and be back myself.. i reflected alot the whole nite.. i chose to force myself to be harsh rather than softhearted cuz i din wanna hurt him any further.. i chose to suffer in silence cuz i'm able to cope with it in a more positive way than him.. although he wanted a week to prove.. i'm real glad but i've already lack of all faith and confident in all the things.. if he really wanted to prove it.. he shld jolly well know that action speaks louder den words. dun ask for any permission or say, cuz action will proved everything that had been said.. sO i gib him a clue and a hint.. whether he got it or not, it all depends on fate le.. if we are fated no matter wad happened, we will see each other somewhere..
a note to him if he ever read: if u think u can, means u can.. dO wad u think is gd for u and capture the opportunites no matter how hard it is.. dUn think sO much and concentrate in solving ur own problems.. being harsh is for the sake for u and mE.
okie.. shall stop writing that problems le.. today is my 1st day standing up again.. feeling not too bad cuz i reflected le.. go got a little tiny faith in myself le.. *yeah* i'm really happy wor cuz it's myself gain faith in myself but not from others.. hmm me wanna spend my time more wisely den the other few days.. seems to be living in hell loh.. but noW guess i'm fine le..(yu guo tian qing) so all my crying over sadness or angryness shall end cuz my eyes veri painful and swell.. i wanna be smiling and not crying le.. thanks for all ur concern and i think i'm able to fight this battle alone and bring back the victory for u all to see.. *wink*
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:17 AM
Monday, December 15, 2003
ahem... i oso damn fed up nw sia.. how can sumone say my darling mei..!! wat the fuck sia..
specially to the coward: dare to say ppl but dun dare to let others noe abt it.. who do u tink u are?? well.. wat u heard and see is only one-sided story.. excuse me!! wat abt the story herE?? y not saying HE lie to u den serene lied?? though wat i heard is only one-sided story but i stil dislike him alot.. i believe in wat i see.. guess u nv ever went out wif the both of them b4 bah.. since u dun even noe serene, wat is ur right to say her and insult her and telling her off?? we dun need ur tym to write an email to insult ppl.. u noe wat is really a disgrace to gal?? is having such a gal lyk u in the world sia.. lyk to do and say ppl underground!!! u noe him and yet i noe the both of them!! i believe u noe him quite well ya.. if not wat is ur stand to help him speak up?? his NEW GF or his "GD FRENZ"?? im telling u now.. we aren't the unreasonable type of ppl.. we noe wat is right n wrong.. dun need u to remind us.. and as far as i noe abt serene.. i guess im the only one tat will be able to TELL U OFF!!! she is my sister and i noe her for years le!! If ever she is a flirt, will she ever last wif her ex till taT long?? if she's a cheat, will HE and ppl ard her lyk her?? pls lor.. wat u noe is only HIS story.. i believe everyone agree wif me tat a relationship fail, both parties are at fault!! but im not seeing it in wat u said!! u are blaming on serene ONLY!!! is tis fair?? we haven even start blaming HIM for hurting her.. yet U come and insult serene? wat is tis man?? wat i can tell u is tat.. HE IS WEARING A MASK TO HIS FRENZ TOO YA.. if HE really love serene.. he will nv ever say anything bad abt her.. though he got his right to complain and grumble but not to the extend of saying fake thingS!! Anything wrong in being a les and being proud of it?? come on.. u are in the 21st century yet so old fashion!! at least, we are happy for wat we are. Why did gals turn les? oso partly bcoz GUYS SUX!! isnt it?? u nv encounter b4!! u wun even understanD!! yet u are ther toking bad abt others!! Y DIN LOOK INTO THE MIRROR AND TOK ABT THE EVIL U WILL SEE IN THE MIRROR?? such a bitch shld not be alive.. since u weren't polite in the first place.. i see nth wrong to be rude to u.. pls do some reflection ya!! if u stil feel tat serene is all at fault.. pls change ur sexuality!! u aren't qualify to be a GAL!! cause u simply dun hv the simple understanding towards gals..!! u cant stand everything den do u tink we can stand u insulting otherS?? how serene is feeling and going thru now.. u wun even understand and i guess u will nv get to understand cause no one will truly love such a person lyk u.. pls stop being a hypocrite!! if u wana say abt otherS, say it right to their face and not behide the screen!! HOPE U DO TINK OVER IT AND CHANGE UR PERSONALITY.. BE A BETTER GAL AND GET THE RESPECT ALL GALS NEED!! i seriously feel tat no one is respecting u now..!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:50 PM
wAh damn fEd uP loh.. kena insulted and scolded by his fren.. i nv wanted any1 to pity me.. i'm fighting this battle myself alone.. i feel such an insult by the girl.. she's sUch a coward dUn even dare to let pple know she e-mail mE.. i'm at the extreme manx.. i nv made any choice yet that girl ask mE not to disgrace girls and muz have self-esteem.. worse she said i'm a flirt that goes ard hurting others.. ~*****~ i nv did and i dare to say that i did love him b4.. if u dunno anything, dun insult mE cuz i'll feel that in the world having u this kinda girl is a waste!! wad u said to mE, i'm returning it to U cuz u are not up to standard to scold mE at all.. and this blog is all abt how i feel.. it's not against the law k!! i nv offended u yet u offended mE.. i WUN FORGET THIS FOREVER!! dUn blame me for being harsh lE, cuz u all are driving me to the limit that i dunno wad i'll do!! i've calm myself down and it's u all brought it up again.. this time i'm gg harsh le..
a note to him: dun need ur crocodile's tears nor ur pity or concern.. i'll go thru all these by myself and my life or death wun concern u anymore..!!
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:01 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2003
haiz.. today bb sms mE le.. *hee* ytd feel so lonely all of the sUdden loh.. cry the whole nite and dEN fall aslp woR.. he e-mail mE today.. well noW he decide to gib mE up loh.. my confident was being diminished again and again.. since the decision had been made.. i guEss i shld gO back to lesbian world and dUN turn back till i met sum1 that is meant for mE ba.. sO noW mE gotta be strong and stand up again.. all of the sUdden, i feeling veri lonely and seems to have no1 to go out with.. i nv felt this way b4 and it's my 1st timE feeling this way.. guess will be lonely till the day bb is back loh.. hoPefully when she return i'll not feel so lonely le, cuz i knoW she will try her best to touched me and be by my side and pei mE de.. hmm joVe dUn sad k?? fAll le gotta stand up again k?? i believe every1 will sUppoRt U de.. -jiA yoU-
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
7:49 PM
yeah.. me juz came back frm dear's hse.. hmm.. yest successfully create a blog of my own.. so ppl muz go visit and see see ya.. enter the world of my own.. ahaha.. sound lyk my darling sister isnt coping well ar... ling ar.. be strong and wait for ally return k.. welcome back to the crked world.. finally tat person is willing to let u off.. we are damn happy for u ya.. same goes to baby.. jove ar... haiz... y lyk tat again?? sob sob... dun sad liao ya... gotta kan kai yi dian.. hmMm.. do wat u shld do.. and do ur best in it.. i duno wat will be the best way to make urself feel better but ther wil sure be a way.. coz u r my baby.. u wun fall tat easily rite.. *winkZz.. so stay strong ya.. really hope to see u laugh and smile happily frm ur heart again.. lookin forward wor.. dun disappoint us ya.. see see.. ling again.. take my fav character!! i lyk buttercup so much and in the end.. i am blossom!!!!!! tOotz.... once again.. it showed tat.. ling is really damn fierce... pls dun irritate her ya.. wahaha... bleahx..
ade dearie: i noe i owe u lunch.. ahaha.. dun need to remind me.. but recently busy wif sch ya.. so.. mux be considerate k.. heex.. i will treat u one.. juz one day wen im free of my sch loadS!!
jake` di: ahaha.. miss u miss u.. miss u lots.... im doing fine ya.. no worries.. u lei?? yaya.. ur math.. ahaha.. me hope tat can help u ya.. but seems lyk i return alot of work to my teacher liao.. ahaha.. bleahx!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
7:18 PM
Saturday, December 13, 2003
hihi.. its me jove here.. haiz.. today feeling bery sad.. waited for ol's call n msg the whole day.. but after she start work she nia msg me le.. she use to call me or msg me during break time.. but... not anymore.. n after work was bery happi when she return call saying dat she'll pei me so sell the xmas thingy.. but... she went shopping wif christina.. i dun mind wor.. but when she came to look for me ard 9 plus.. i told her i was rushing off le.. all she said was.. "i'm taking 65 wif christina" my heart shattered when she insist in peiing her take bus.. y can't she jus pei me take bus home.. afterall we're going back tp.. i told her bye n she left.. holding back the tears, i manage to smile at alene n daniel.. i msg her saying i'm bery tired holding on.. does things to save our r/s... but all i get was neglection.. jus wanna spend more time wif her.. so dat we wun drift apart.. all she cares was her frens.. at nite we broke off.. n her onli reply when i ask for a breakup was dat " i'm sorri for neglecting u.. do tc of yourself." y din she holds me back? she claimed she luv me, she wans me.. all she noes is letting go of me.. she neva try hold me back..
[t][e][a][r][d][r][o][p][s]
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:49 PM
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
3:56 PM
ytd went bugis with lala.. shE so unlucky, all the things she wanna buy no more stocks le.. in the end she bought 2 pairs of ear rings and 1 bag.. after we went to the aIrpoRt to eat.. we ate at coffeebean and ate popeyes' mashed potato.. -yUmmy- we waited for an hr plus for bb to cOMe.. shAn and her gf joined us too.. we company bb foR awhile b4 she leave.. hmm took a photO with bB.. but gotta take from shAn.. at the departure hAll.. upon seeing bb gg to leave lE.. i'm so saD woR.. guEss she had asked lala to take care and company mE loh.. lol shE said she's gg to claim mE back from lala when she returns.. lolx.. she sms mE and told me not to cry but tears rolled doWn when reading her msg.. i'm sure to miss her badly dE.. she pRomised to msg mE went she reached there but till noW sHE hasn't.. wondering wad she's doing noW?? sobz.. left 39 days more to gO... i miss her loads..
[S]eRene
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
3:52 PM
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
3:40 AM
Friday, December 12, 2003
wahaha.. saw tat.. ling is fire!! she is HOT and wild!! im water.. im cute n playful.. ahaha.. i save ppl.. she harm ppl.. ahem.. wahaha.. wat a nice combination.. ahaha.. yeah... saw dear yest le.. finally.. missed her so much and she came to fetch me to sch.. muackz.. love dear ya.. was damn tired since yest ya.. vomit out everything i eat again coz my jie said i lyk gain weight.. sob sob.. me damn fat liao la.. gotta slim dwn.. dun care..!! ling so gd.. receive presie le.. i haven!! wahaha.. anyway i wun be in sg during xmas.. so most prob wun receive much presies bah... adez dearie helped me upload songs again!! wahaha.. opps.. bother her again but she nv complain.. ahaha.. she so gd ya.. muackZ!!!! but i stil wana SHUD UP first.. wahaha.. *winkz
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
11:14 AM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:33 AM
yEah.. bAck fRom bbQ.. hAiz thE bbQ wAsn't a sUccessfUl 1.. so damN bOring furthermOre i diN even eat loh.. go thEre eat aiR siA.. aCtuAlly wAnna go eat sUpper dE but duNno wHy reach the foodcoUrt but nO appetitE lehz.. den headacHe.. in the end niA eat anything till i cOMe hoME loH.. *pathetic* hE did went fOR the bbQ.. ahaha bbQ gib mE eaT.. lolx.. but i diN eat cuz i got not much appetite wor.. although he did ask mE foR supper.. if he had ask earlier, i will go loH.. but too bAd i already on my way to meet Bb... ahaha.. i got my sUrpriSe fRom bb leh.. -blEah- got my 1st christmas gift liAO.. *hee* hAix.. i wOnder waD will be my best christmas gift this year wor.. -hint hint-
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:10 AM
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:02 AM
Thursday, December 11, 2003
im baCK!! miss ling alot.. miss sunzi alot.. miss von alot.. miss deon dearie.. miss ade dearie.. miss daniel alot.. miss jove baby alot.. miss regina di alot.. miss my poly frenz alot.. miss my frenz alot.. miss my bed alot.. miss my hp alot.. miss my computer.. miss my lappy.. miss my room.. miss my bear bear.. miss my baby.. lastly...... miss my dear..... alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot!!!! phew... tis trip is really damn relaxing... at the same tym.. i reflect alot ya.. i had an ans in mind le.. i went to the trip wif a veri burden heart and now.. im back happily and feeling more relieve.. through out the trip.. see the list of ppl i missed.. im really totally missing so many ppl sia.. especailly my dear... though i did miss ct.. but i miss ling and sunzi more den i miss her.. and obviously.. i miss my dear more den anyone.. cant tolerate the dayz without my dear voice.. her nagging.. her scolding.. her sweet toking.. every single thing!! i simply miss her alot alot lor.. ahaha.. cant imagine my life w/o her sia.. i will die ar.. oPps.. btw.. i tink im dying soon.. i vomit wateva i eat... and i dun dare to eat liao.. how how?? sob sob!! ahem.. getting scolding frm my dear again.. im fat ma.. no meh?? me wana go on diet.. but she dun let!! hmmppff.. ling.. so swt ya.. planning surprise for ally again.. and ally planning surprise again.. hmMm.. i oso love surprises...!! but nvm.. got dear dear mean everything more den surprises!! yeah.. rite man!! ahaha.. i guess.. once again.. i made my dear veri sad le.. she's not a fool ya.. she's my dear.. the one i love now.. the one day.. she will be the only one in my heart.. juz till i forget abt the past.. the hurt i once bare.. the pain tat haven been cured.. the day i found no hurt.. no pain in my heart.. tat's the day my dear totally surpress my heart and be the only one.. the day will arrive my dear.. pls tolerate my selfishness.. i wana be wif u.. i wan happiness.. im glad tat u are holding on.. i really appreciate.. seriously understand how u feel... i need tym tat u are willing to give me.. u will be the one.. i promise i will do my best to forget.. and love u whole-heartedly.. [m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:47 AM
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
yEah.. mAine is baCk in sg.. *weLcOme bAck* i mIss her bAdly wor.. finally get to talk to her on mSn.. but only awhilE.. shE damn bAd.. cOMe back dEn start buLlying mE and vOn.. hmmPz..!! haiz.. tml having clAss bbq.. damn sIan guEss tml will be a boring dAy lE.. but bB say sHE coming to meet mE wOR.. dUnno true or not.. shE's sIck today -pOOr thing- *hopE sHE is finez lE* shE say sHE'll online de, guEss shE can't online bA.. hmm shE told me abt the girl that like her.. ahaha.. guess bB was damn irritated by her.. cuz bb start complaining her to mE juz now.. lolx.. made sOmething foR bb b4 she leaves.. hopE she like and appreciate it.. although it's juz a simple thing but really make an effort to do it.. *aHEm..tots that counts* haiz.. today my fren come over my hse to take tb.. guess wad she say abt mE.. haiz i was sO depressed manx. she say i look like hsewife le.. wah.. heart shatter into pieces manx.. sobz.. where got look like hsewife.. kAoz.. makE mE damn wORry abt it.. iDert think abt this i moodless to write le.. furthermore not in good mood ar..
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:43 PM
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
hmm 2 dAys nv uPdAte lE.. hAiz miSs mAine bAdly.. sHe wUn be bAck till wEd.. miss hEr bAdly sIA.. din talk to her for 2 days liAo.. haiz.. wEnt moVie wIth bB at biShan todAy.. watch dUplEx.. alrite la not veri nice la.. earlier knoW watch elf or love acTually better still.. bB bought alot of stuff.. lol.. sHE weNt to buy undergArments wor.. kAO spend $60 plus on it.. i think shE spend $200 plus todAy.. pOOr thing.. -blEah- todAy we ate MOs.. orDer quite alot wOr.. *hee* but bB end up buy sO mAny things and forget abt mE.. sObz.. but nvm shE buy storybOok for me to reaD.. *yEah* left 2 dAys b4 sHe leaving le.. hmm gUess she liKE got something up to on the christmAs lehz.. hmm wonder wad suRprise sHE giving mE lehz.. ahaha i juz loVe sUrprIses woR.. *yEAh* -hEe-
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
9:20 PM
Monday, December 08, 2003
see tis... i love tis necklace sia.. but it only can be bought overseas and online.. sob sob.. wun be able to own it sia.. so sadded... sob sob...
[m]a|nEzlife is meaningless- HATE me pls .
5:47 AM
Sunday, December 07, 2003
yeapx... ling... me xiang tong le... i noe it is no use holdin on to ppl hu wun be coming back to me.. i jolly well noe tat she wun be back and there's no use holdin on too.. i tink i had hurt them deeply and badly too.. maine is a bad girl ya.. i cant be perfect to ct neither to kriz.. i need not to be perfect.. i juz gotta be me ritE? tat's maine.. and therefore tat's ling!! we will be strong ya.. sorry isnt the only word to say.. there's more.. care and concern need not be said out.. action speack louder den words.. hu cares and hu dun.. i realise it.. though i stil feel for her but she's no longer the person i love so deeply.. we gonna be strong and accept the facts tat had lay dwn ahead of us.. y are we following the road tat had been planned for us?? im not going tat way.. im going my way..!! be the one n only maine in the world of my own.. and at the same tym in the world of my dear and my family... *-- heavenlove --*
[m]a|nEz
i noe u tot tat i hate u.. but i dun tink i wil ever hate u ya.. happens to noe tat u are playing all along.. suddenly felt tat maybe our 2yrs r/s is oso part of ur game.. since u nv been serious.. u aint worth my love ya.. but stil.. i do feel for u.. but is the past u not the present u.. though i had been seriously hurt by u.. though i fall til i couldnt stand up again.. though u were not ther to pull me up again.. but i stil thanx u for loving me and let me noe wat love is all abt and how hurting it could be.. im sorry tat i cant be the one for u.. im unreasonable.. im a bitch.. im a flirt.. im a slut.. to u.. i tink im all tat listed ya.. to u.. im juz tat bad rite.. anyway.. i had grown up.. getting mature each day.. im no longer a kid.. no longer a gal gal.. no longer playful.. i tink im doing fine.. same to u... u are doing fine wif ur stead now.. and im happy for u too.. it's tym to get serious le ya.. dun play le hor.. well.. im stil the same.. will alwayz be here for u no matter wat... we will be frenz forever ya.. hu say ex cant be frenz ritE?? ahaha.. *winkz im doing fine now wif my dear.. no worries.. dun say sorrie.. u aint at fault.. im the one to blame only ya.. really miss u alot.. miss the tyms back in sjc.. but it is juz a part of my memory le.. same goes to u ya.. keep tis happy memory in ur heart k.. take gd care alwayz.... huGgies...
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
3:57 PM
Saturday, December 06, 2003
mAIne duN sAd lE hAo mA?? u and i are on the sAme boAt but only diff situation ba.. wEll that's y i choose not tO gO into r/s and continuE to hurt pplE.. i think i rEally huRt them bAdly aNd deep doWn.. *sAd* wAnna cry out loud but i endure cuz wanna be strong.. fEel likE drinking.. dRown all my sORroWs but i knoW it isn't the gd wAy to solve a pRob.. but i rather not to think of it.. try to be alrite towards pplE yet they dunno.. control all the grief and no1 knoWs.. no1 bothers.. except that it's related to them.. who cAn really understand hoW we feel rite?? wE are not perfect.. we oSo need pple to understand and care abt.. lol let's gO die together bA.. wahahaa....
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
11:02 PM
wat's r/s all abt..?? feelin confuse now.. saddeD?? cRies.. do i really hate heR?? she damn toot lor..!! been wif me for so long stil dun understand me meh..?? i can be stubborn but how wil i ever be harsh to her?? suddenly felt so sad.. and my heart really hurts... wat am i suppose to do now?? too many things to say.. too many things to consider.. sorry my dear.. im missing her again.. feelin damn hurt to tink of the past... wat i can say is only SORRY.... i cant be perfect.... to ct or to kriz.. im juz a simple gal.. maybe a bitch.. i dun wish to be unfair to anyone of us.. but i tink im unfair again.. wat am i holding on to?? i oso duno.. but i guess.. ther are ppl out ther hu are more miserable den us.. ling.. y we so xin ku..?? haix.. guilt, love, memories, confusion... dun feel lyk carry on living anymore...!! aRgh!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:11 PM
hAiz.. rEad bB's bLOg.. i think i made her dAmn upsad woR.. i read till i cry loh.. soBZ cuz wad i say sHe dun believe.. well he is in the past lE.. sO noW i adjusting myself back to normal.. kinda disappointed in bB.. cuz wad shE promISe mE will nv be done de.. *criEs* maybe u think u are miserablE but i think i'll be sUffering moRe den u loh.. sPAre a tot foR u yEt i dun think u ever knEw it loh.. soBz.. rEally hoPE to have sUm1 here with mE noW.. haiZ.. pplE alWays misinterpret wad i wanna saY.. sUmtiMEs i juZ wiSh i cLdn't tAlk sO i wuN get all these.. sAy out oso wRong duN say oso wRong.. lifE so miserabLE.. mAybe i sHld gIb up all r/s aNd lovE.. and be a harsh and heartlEss pErsoN.. dEn i wUN be the 1 sUffering lE... sOBZ..
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:36 AM
my daddy mummy siao siao one lei.. suddenly re-paint the whole living room walls... got too much tym liao sia.. ahaha.. hMmm... suppose to go ikea today ya.. but as usual my zhu ba jie could not wake up.. and i went over and rot at her hse instead.. hmm.. was veri tired the whole day worz.. coz hardly get enuff slp last nitez.. slept only ard 4 tis morning.. and i woke up at 7.. power sia.. no wonder my panda eyes become darker and darker ya.. juz now at dear hse.. i cried worz.. coz first tym in history.. im fear of her.. she actually shouted at me.. and throw her temper at me lor.. me damn scared lor.. den duno wat to do but to keep crying.. sob sob.. scary sia.. but den in the end.. she come and hong me.. ahaha..i knew it.. i wun be the one giving in de.. oPps.. =X dear dear.. next tym cannot fierce me k.. i really will scared one.. she's at monKz now and im at home.. hmMm.. ppl normally dun allow their dear to go clubbin w/o them but i tink im the one out of those SPECIAL one sia.. maybe coz i trusted her too much le.. so im rather open to allow her go enjoy and hv fun w/o me.. hope dear is having lots of fun now ya.. =) muackz.. miss her alot!!!
*-- linG --* miss u so much sia.. ahem.. sound lyk u dun hv a gd day ya.. well.. since u brought everything to THE END le... den let him be wateva he wana be lor.. quarrel over wat?? in the end stil the same ritE?? i guess.. tis triangle thingy or wateva thingy shld put to an end le lor.. hao ma?? if not.. the one who will be most miserable will be u worz.. well.. u shld noe rite.. being wif ally for so long.. i feel tat sumhow she do understand u lor.. it is juz tat.. they way u 2 express ur feelings in the wrong way and lead to misunderstanding towards each other. And tat's alwayz why u 2 end up quarrelling or angry over small matters. if she really has sumthing tat u dun lyk abt it.. isnt it be better tat u all tok it out?? if she really love u.. she will change de ya.. relax la.. dun angry wif her le k.. she is 'old' enuff to be responsible le.. =) ahem!! wat no one really understand u?? haiz.. now den i noe i not human.. haiz... sob sob.. or u feel tat i dun understand u?? perhaps tat's how u feel bah.. dun sad le ya.. tml will be a better day k.. maine will alwayz be ard for u.. alwayz and forever...!! oh ya.. as for jOve.. alamak.. dun forget she is kRiz's bro bro worz.. so indirectly connected.. so i invite her to join in lor.. it's alrite hor.. we are one big family.. am i ritE?? heex.. *winkz..
*-- jOve --* ahaha.. welcome welcome... ur veri first post ya.. im happy tat u pursue back ur happiness and be wif ol again.. really hope u 2 will last long long ya.. i believe after so long.. after so many things had happened.. it is the past liao.. so dun be lag by the past but look forward to the future k.. wish u n ol all the best ya.. *muAckz..
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:57 AM
Friday, December 05, 2003
hmm todAy hE cAlled mE and wE enD the quarrel liAo.. haiz finAlly..!! he sAw this bloG todAy.. omG!! *faint* wEll it's the past lE nO point holding on to it rite?? sO i learn tO calm dOWn alot lE.. todaY Bb pRomise to coME over mY hse de.. in the end sHE din coMe over.. sobz cuz she nv inform till i juz sms her only.. sOMetimes the way shE dO things really make mE wanna shout at her loh.. i dun like shouting at all but sHe really not responsible loh.. that's wad makes mE to be always unhappy abt.. noW feeling kinda angry cuz of BB la.. i just find that sHE dUN understands mE loh.. really depressing de loh.. well.. pErhaps nO1 really can understand ME that well ba.. aRgh dun talk abt her lE.. make mE more sad.. hmm kinda shock to see jOve in here?? cuz i wasn't being inform abt it.. and i tot it's meant to be a family blog?? well it's alrite.. weLcOmE jOVe!! *bleAH*
[s]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
10:39 PM
yoz.. its me jove.. heez.. yeah. me n ongling patch le wor.. (03122003) hmm.. me so xian now.. jus finish my lunch.. n my stoopid colleague's sleeping n i'm blogging.. yesterday wanted to meet brobro pig n brobro koala ,mainez n daniel... but in the end neva meet cuz i bery tired.. so take cab all the way to Lido.. went to fetch my baby from work wor.. waited for her till almost 10pm.. luckily christina pei me wor.. if not sure rot to death de.. but heez.. nvm lah.. at least can see my babi.. hmm.. actualli wanted to go borders n get the mini brownies for her.. but too bad the dey dun sell le.. haiz.. nvm.. shall see if i can find it at suntec.. she luv de brownies wor.. yesterday was damn tired siaz.. reach home ard 12plus.. hmm.. tink i stop bloggin le.. going netting see if any ideas for xmas eve.. heez.. btw dunno where brobros going celebrate on xmas wor..
[j]ovE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:48 PM
Thursday, December 04, 2003
veri tired sia.. today late for sch again.. 11.. goin to 12 den reach sch lor.. ahaha.. hMmm... ling.. i miss u toO.. so sorrie.. i forgot to call u.. coz me damn busy over sch stuff den veri pek cek the whole day.. duno for wat.. mood swing bah.. having cramp again.. so pain sia.. last nite had a quarrel with dear dear.. was rather upset over it lor.. she alwayz felt tat i will run away one day.. is lyk.. i dun understand lor.. y she fear so mucH?? wher by me... even though i will felt jealous over sumthings or ppl.. but i trusted her so much.. i fear nth at all lor.. im oso not scared tat she will leave me one day.. coz i noe she love me alot.. im not taking her for granted.. im aware tat she really treat me veri veri gd.. and i jolly well noe tat im the only one in her heart now.. my heart is in it... there's dear dear in my heart.. im wif her and so my heart but she doesnt feel tat way.. really feeling veri upset ya.. and im tat gong gong.. duno how to express out how i actually feel for her.. though im tryin hard to forget ct.. but to me.. im sure tat my dear is much more impt den her le.. after all.. i realise myself feeling nth for ct le.. juz duno y.. out of the sudden wen ppl mention abt her.. im no longer curious or feeling sad.. im willing.. starting completing to forget ct... yet... my dear dun trust me... feeling so hurt.. and no one will ever understand..
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
11:48 PM
juz finished talking tO his beSt fren woR.. hAiz he saW mE in tOWn toDay wOR.. lUcky dIN see him if not i duNno wad tO say tO him aR.. sUpposed to meet mAInE de.. but waited fOr her call till diE liAo.. hmmP.. today wEnt bugiS with Bb.. ahaha bought a few stuffs but i hAVEN bUY my cLothes loH.. soBz.. dIn reAlly sHop enuff.. lol.. hAiz.. sIAn bB leaving soon lE.. sObz.. and my fone spoil more depressing loh.. sIan half sIA.. i miss maine lots woR.. -huggIES- guess shAll end here for today le bA.. nitez.. *thinking of my beloved bEd..*
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
11:02 PM
ahaha.. im baCkz.. my sister den envy of my blog sia.. all thankz to aDez.. a muAckz for u.. hEex.. hMmm.. tml goin to learn web media in sch worz.. touchin onto html le.. yEah man.. i can learn more and do nicer nicer nicer blog ya... so.. ppl wait and see k.. ahaha.. i tink i shall help my sis in her blog bah.. hMmm.. after all.. i veri teng my sister one ya.. bleahx.. i TRY ya.. ahaha.. i saw alot of my frenz blogs lor.. all so nice.. but i was rather satisfield wif mine le.. coz me and adez had been busy dealing wif tis blog for a few dayz le.. phewz.... bedtime.. tata.. nitEz ya..
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:58 AM
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
ahahah... oPPs.. tis blog partly wasnt done by me ya.. hEex.. is actually dOne by my deareSt deaRie AdEz.. ahaha.. shld muAckz her sia.. i only do part of it worz.. heex... ahem... i oso having stomachache sia.. so unlucky lor.. come tat one early in the morning.. den now having cramp.. so xin ku.. pain pain.. sOb.. feel lyk bao bao my dear dear sia.. heex.. lalala.. hMmm.. still stuck in sch now sia.. so sian so sian.. the fac so lame lor.. super lame mo.. keep smiling to duno who sia.. linG.. i miSs u lOtz lotz worz.. goin to meet up soon bah.. tis sat can?? we go watch movie.. or sunzi they all wana go cycling lei.. heex.. we shall see how ya....
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
3:34 PM
wAhaha.. mAine sO li haI.. cOmplEte the bLog.. -muackz- gib her 1 biG huGzZz.. noT like ME.. gib uP le.. lol.. sO sIAn maNx.. stUck at hOMe dUNno wad tO dO.. nOW stoMACh upseT.. aRgh!! wEll.. mE iS gettin ovER hIm lIAo.. fEel muCh beTTer.. acTually wAs damn sad of wad hE haD saId.. buT well.. nOW i learnT to cOOl dOwn and noT to get aNgry sO easiLy lE.. *hee* haiz.. veri long nv see mAIne theY all lE.. sO sAd wOr.. hOPefUllY thEy are free to asK mE out woR.. -bleah- hmm mE sO excited wOR.. cuz aTaQ bOught mE a gift.. cAn't wait to see iT.. so nice of her wOR.. dAys R getting leSSer wOR.. bB leaving sOOn lE.. aH!! i cAn't bear her tO leave.. sObz.. i'll sUre miSs her lots dE...
[S]eRenE
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:55 PM
damn it.. duno who do delete away the html codes... can caused the design to disappear... aRgh... i gotta start all over again.. sOb Sob... haiz... cannot fan aDez again le ya... i gonna depend on myself le.... *cRies...
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
12:41 AM
Monday, December 01, 2003
hEEx... me in sch now sia.. well well.. juz asked my dearie adez for help in my blog... phew... she made it much better ya.. but i tink there's stil alot to edit worz... tHankz aDez...!! haiz... juz now sort of veri sad ya.. coz i made dear dear sad again.. i din arrange my wallet for a long tym le den i forgot to remove ct's pic out of my wallet.. juz tat simple ya.. haiz.. but i doubt she dun believe me.. she tot i still miss her.. haiz... i din lor...!! damn upset now.. duno y... sad till i dun wish to meet her after school.. sOb sOb.. i wana go home now!! aRgh!!!
[m]a|nEz
life is meaningless- HATE me pls .
1:05 PM
